


Helpless

by AgailousJorVilla



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fisting, Animal Abuse, Anxiety, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Background Relationships, Character Death, Crazy, Crying, Dark, Dark fic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death Threats, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, Insecurities, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Minor Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Multi, Obsession, Panic Attacks, Paranoid Alexander Hamilton, Poor Alexander Hamilton, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stalking, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Threesome - M/M/M, Very Very Dark Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26811058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgailousJorVilla/pseuds/AgailousJorVilla
Summary: "I could have you right now, if I wanted to." The voice said, taunting him. "You're all alone.. It would be too easy." He continued. Alex felt sick, he felt his knees go weak."I'm not alone," Alex bluffed, his voice wavering. "And I have a gun so don’t try any shit."The man let out a low giggled, and it made the hairs on his neck rise."Liar." Alex could almost hear the smirk in his voice. "You're all by yourself, darlin’. Your daddy's gone, isn't he? And mommy too?  No need to lie to me." The man said, and panic seized Alex's chest. How did he know that? What the fuck was going on?"Leave me the fuck alone." Alexander demanded, angry and terrified.The man laughed. "In your dreams, brat," He said, and hung up.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/James Madison, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 59
Kudos: 153





	1. Text Messages

**Author's Note:**

> Halloween is coming soon! I hope I managed to creep you out with my very first dark fic! I wish you enjoy my filth! Thank you for reading

Alexander Hamilton lived alone.

It doesn’t bother him much. He was used to being alone. He was used to the feeling of people leaving him behind ever since he was a kid. His father abandoned them. His mother died from a sickness that nearly took his own life, leaving him and his brother in the custody of his alcoholic depressed cousin who committed suicide. His older brother abandoned him too, not that he blamed him, James Jr. was too young to take on a responsibility to raise a child so he fled.

The first few days were painful. He doesn’t have anyone to rely on or someone to talk to. Fortunately, Alexander is intelligent, through hard work, he survives on his own. He managed to find a job working as a clerk to gain money and have a place to stay. When the hurricane ravaged his town, Alexander picked up a pen and wrote about it. The resulting letter helped him get out of that island for a scholarship in the States where he met new people who became his best friends.

Alexander made it into Columbia University. He may sound like an egotistical man but he knew he was an extraordinary person. He has good grades, is charismatic, good writer, and the best debater. He was majoring in law and literature, but he still didn't know what career he wanted. Like any college student, he was just trying to make it through his classes, and figure out the rest later. Because the scholarship doesn’t cover his other living facilities, he worked many jobs so he could pay for his other needs.

Alexander always liked to walk home after his evening shift in the convenience store or after spending all day in the library. Although he was alone, he wasn't too lonely anymore. His friends always check up on him every day and make him take a break on weekends to have fun or rest.  
Alexander had been living like this for about four years.

He is safe.

Until he isn’t.

****

He was 19 years old when the stalking began.

After finishing his shift around 10:30 PM in the coffee shop, he began his daily routine of walking back home when he heard the low rumble of a car. Alex glanced over and saw a black BMW about ten yards away. At first, he didn’t pay it much attention, cars were a typical thing to see in the city, especially in the busiest parts of New York. He kept walking, mind wandering. He heard the car gradually approaching, but he still didn't give it a lot of thought. When Alexander glanced over again, though, the car was beside him, driving slowly to match his pace. His eyebrow furrowed. Alexander observed the car, hands reaching in his pocket to grip the mace spray that Angelica insisted that he carry to defend himself in case something happened. He watched the window roll down ever so slightly. Piercing hazel eyes were watching him from the passenger seat. That icy gaze made chills run down his spine. The windows were so tinted that he couldn't tell if anyone other than the hazel eyes and the driver were in the car.

The world faded behind him as he focused on those eyes.

Alexander began to pick up his pace, a bit creeped out, but the car stayed right alongside him. Those eyes never broke contact with him.

When Alexander saw his dormitory building, he ran. He rushed up the steps and quickly slammed the door shut behind him. He was breathing hard and fast. The big space of his place suddenly felt so compressing. He tried to remain calm and think rationally. Maybe the car is going the same direction as him? Maybe the passenger needs help with something but is too embarrassed to say anything? But why the hell is it following him? Who the hell was in it?

Alexander went over to the window and pulled the curtain back, desperately hoping that the car was gone and he was just being paranoid. He felt his heart drop when he saw that the vehicle was still outside his dorm. Once he made eye contact with the eyes in the passenger seat, the car sped off and disappeared. Alex closed the curtains and went to his room, heart rapidly beating. He tried to do his normal routine; he did his homework, showered, and got ready for bed, but his uneasiness didn’t disappear.

****

The next day, Alexander told his friends about the incident. The Schuyler sisters were clearly worried and offered him to stay in their house instead, which he politely declined. John, Laf and Hercules volunteered to stay with him for a few days to make sure he’s safe. Alexander reassured his friends that he’s okay and that he will be careful and keep his phone on him. When nothing unusual happened the following day, he chunked up the incident as paranoia and pushed the memory of the event out of his mind.

The following days, it seemed like everything returned to normal.

When class ended, Alexander headed home to prepare for his shift. Once he got on his street, a familiar black BMW drove right by him. It didn't follow him or anything. It was probably just another car. At least, Alex hoped so. When he got to his dorm, he felt his stomach drop to the sight of his door gaping open. Alex stood in front of the house with wide eyes, confusion and panic coursing through him.

He cautiously pulled out his phone, dialed 911, and held his finger above the call button in case something happened. He never forgot to lock the door before going somewhere. The school didn’t assign him any roommates yet so there’s no reason for anyone to come here. Either one of his friends checks up on him, or someone broke in.

Alexander stepped into the house slowly, his heart pounding in his ears. He examined every room in the house, walking as quietly as he possibly could. The house was dead silent. He felt like a dumb character in a horror movie, coming inside undefended with no one for backup. Nevertheless, he continued to investigate. Nothing was missing from the house, but his room was trashed; his laptop was on the floor, his drawers were all open, and their contents were spilled everywhere. Still, everything was there, even his money. Alex regarded the room with confusion. He texted his friends if anyone had visited him earlier, which they denied.

Alexander spent hours fixing his room, putting everything back where it was supposed to be. Though he was grateful that nothing was missing or stolen, he can’t help but feel nervous. He opened his laptop and checked if something was broken or deleted. Nothing. Everything’s fine, except for the new open word document on the screen with a sentence typed out in a small cursive font:

_'You're a great author, kid'_

Alexander reread the sentence over and over, puzzled. Someone.. Or maybe a group of people.. Had broken into his house and trashed his room, just to read his writings and fuck with his head? They didn't steal anything, they just went through his private works. Damn, is it another one of John’s pranks? But John knew better than to touch his things without permission. Laf would never do this, Hercules is too busy working on his family’s tailor shop. But why would they do that? They had no motive. His mind drew back to the piercing hazel eyes from the BMW. He had a feeling that… No, that’s impossible, it can’t be. Alex was full of questions, and he had absolutely no answers.

Alex tried to focus on his job, but his situation kept haunting him. He wanted to call the police or get help, but the only evidence he had was a word document that he could've easily written himself. There was really nothing he could do but worry and wonder.

****

Around 10:30 PM, his phone rang.

For some reason, his mind instantly jumped to the black BMW, but the lack of caller ID meant it could be anyone. He stared at his phone, feeling uneasy. He debated whether to accept or decline it, but gave in, pressing the green button, he held the phone in his ear.

"Hello, Alexander." A man's deep, rough voice greets him. Alexander immediately felt uneasy by how creepy the man sounded.

"Who- who is this?" He asked, pulse quickening. He cleared his throat to prevent the man from knowing how scared he was. "How do you know my name?"

"You don't need to know that” The voice responded. Alexander swallowed nervously.

"Are you the weirdo from the black car?” He blurted. He heard the man scoff.

"Watch your damn mouth, brat." He replied. “Though I’m impressed for how fast you’re putting two and two together”

"What the fuck do you want?" Alexander demands, trying to sound tough despite his fear.

The voice said simply, "You."

Alexander's breath hitched.

"I could have you right now, if I wanted to." The voice said, taunting him. "You're all alone. It would be too easy." He continued. Alex felt sick, his knees went weak but he held his ground. He doesn’t want to look weak, though he was really fucking scared.

"I'm not alone," Alex bluffed, his voice wavering. "And I have a gun so don’t try any shit."

The man giggled, and it made the hairs on his neck rise.

"Liar." Alex could almost see the smirk just by his voice alone. "You're all by yourself, darlin’. Your daddy's gone, isn't he? And mommy too? No need to lie to me." The man said, and panic seized Alex's chest. How did he know that? What the fuck was going on?

"Leave me the fuck alone." Alexander demanded, angry and terrified.

The man laughed. "In your dreams, brat" He said, then hung up.

Alexander tried to block the number, but since there wasn't a caller ID, he couldn't. He set his phone down and stared blankly at it, unsure of what to do. The police couldn't do anything with what little information he had. The thoughts of telling his friends crossed his mind but he doesn’t want to worry them. They had enough problems on their plates. He knew that if he told them, he would only cause panic and hysteria. The last thing he needs is his friends avoiding him. Alex was scared out of his mind. For the first time, he felt utterly alone.

Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. The previously peaceful silence in his house suddenly felt eerie, like someone was about to jump out of a closet and attack him. Alexander took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He grabbed the knives from the kitchen and any other things that could be used as a weapon and put them in his room so if anything happened he had something to defend himself with, he checked around the house, making sure the windows and door were shut and locked. He peeked through the curtains to check if there were any black BMW or suspicious activity. He went back to his room and found his phone lying on his bed. Alex read the new text from a number he'd never seen before.

'Paranoid are we?'

He felt a shiver run down his spine when he saw that the text was sent while he was checking the windows. The person sent another text as soon as Alex read the first one.

'Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite ❤️’

Heart pounding rapidly the entire time, Alexander shut down his phone. He didn’t turn off his lights while getting into bed. He hates to admit it, but he was too scared to fall asleep. The confirmation that he got a stalker didn’t help his restless mind to wander. What if the man broke into his house during the night? How did the man know about his past? How did the man see him checking the windows? What if the man kidnapped him? What if his friends got hurt? What if the man was somewhere in his house?

Eventually, exhaustion won over worry, and he fell into an uneasy sleep.

****

Alexander was woken up the next day by his annoying ringtone. He groaned, rolled over, and clumsily grabbed his phone. He answered the call without thinking about it, too tired and sluggish to wonder about who could be on the other end.

"The fuck you want?" He whined, his voice sleepy and annoyed. He heard a chuckle.

"Aww, did daddy disturb your beauty sleep, baby?" The man cooed.

Alexander's eyes shot open and he sat up, startled and tense. He can feel chills running down his spine. He felt his heart beat erratically. The man chuckled again as if sensing his fears.

"How are you doing this morning? Did you have any nightmares about me?" He playfully asks.

"Stop fucking calling me!" Alex demands, he clutched his blanket tighter in a hopeless attempt to calm himself.

"Or what?" Alex cannot see him but he swears he knew that the creepy fucker was smiling. "You look so cute in the mornings, kid. I wonder what you'd do if you woke up to me on top of you."

Alexander inhaled shakily. "You can't see me. You're just trying to freak me out." He shot back.

"Mm. Wanna bet?" The man said, hanging up before Alexander could get the last word.

He threw his phone to the ground in frustration and let out a deep breath, covering his face. Why couldn't that man just leave him alone?! Why was this happening? He hadn't done anything wrong! He was just trying to make it through life like everyone else. He wasn't good, handsome or nice, there was no reason for someone to be so obsessed with him. He’s pretty sure that he hasn’t done anything to anyone to receive such extreme fixation!

Alex’s body trembled, his chest felt so tight. His mind thinks of many possible scenarios of how it could go wrong. Recognizing an oncoming panic attack, he grabbed his bcalm and inhaled a mouthful of air. He’s afraid and confused. For the first time, Alexander Hamilton can’t find the way out of the sudden tornado that ravaged his peaceful life.

Once Alex picked up the phone, he had another text, from another random number.

_Breathe, kid. I'm only getting started._


	2. Humans Can Lick Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander let out a gasp as he woke up, hands tightly gripping the sheets to ground himself. He can hear his heart beating fast in his ribcage, the sticky feeling of sweat in his body, and the lingering fear caused by his nightmare. Feeling uneasy, his hands reach out to the left side of his bed to pat the soft fur of his companion to comfort himself, but to his surprise, Tobillo is not there nor anywhere in his room. He checked the time, the clock blares out 3: 45 AM in bold red letters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF ANIMAL ABUSE! 
> 
> READER DISCREATION IS ADVICE!

“Mon petit lion, are you okay?” Alex let out a startled yelp when he felt a hand grab his shoulder. He jumped away from the touch like it burned him. Lafayette stares at him in worry and confusion. Alexander is a very tactile person, he never shies away from a hug, kiss, or any kind of physical touch, he was even the first one who initiated it sometimes. But lately, he became colder. He doesn’t want to hug, greet, or even be touched by anyone. Last week, he turned rigid and shook Peggy off when she hugged him from behind.

“Oh, hey laf! What’s up?” Alex smiles but it was so forced it looked more like a grimace. Somebody dropped their book causing the sound to reverberate in the hallway. Alex jumped a little when he heard the noise.

“Are you okay?” Laf asked. For the past few days, they all notice the sudden change of their friend. They don’t want to push if Alex doesn’t want to share his problems but they can’t help but feel worried.

“It’s nothing” He curtly replied. His once noisy personality who talks a mile every minute turns into short tense words He doesn’t talk much anymore and was always lost in deep thought. Alexander is a lively person. He’s always energetic, always cheerful and talkative. Alex was like a fire; bright and vibrant. Whenever he is, the whole room would always feel his presence and give him their undivided attention. Everything was fine, he was not being bullied nor has a failing grade, that’s why they can’t wrap their minds on why he suddenly changed. They know something is very wrong, but they can’t figure out what.

****

After he received those unsettling messages, Alexander immediately changed his phone number and all the locks in his dorm. He brought security cameras, directly placed them in front of the front door, and kept all of his important things and clothes in a bag, just in case. He’s extra cautious of his surroundings and kept his phone and a little knife in his person at all times. He became even more restless. His waist lost many inches caused by sleepless nights and missed meals because of the fear that someone will attack him in his most vulnerable. His once tan skin became sickly pale, his hair’s a mess, and he’s pretty sure the eyebags around his eyes looked more like a bruise for how purple it was. His friends are clearly worried. His usually loud and lively self became jumpy and silent.

“Alex, man, are you really okay?” Hercules and Laf asked him this question countless times already. He’s friends were staring at him in concern, clearly worried for their pseudo little brother.

“I’m fine, just stressed.” He answered.

“Alexander, take a break! If your workaholic attitude continues, you’ll work yourself early in a grave! Did you even look at yourself in the mirror recently?” When Angelica starts her usual rants about how he needs to take care of himself, don’t forget to eat something, and blah, blah, blah… he tunes it out. Internally, he was debating himself if it is a wise idea to tell them about the whole stalker thing, but he dreaded if something happened to them. He loves his friends, he can’t risk losing them.

“So when I saw my stalker ex again, I decided to get a dog”

His ears perked when he overheard the conversation on the next table.

“I heard my dog barking and growling, when I went outside, I saw him run and jumped out of the backyard!” The girl sips her coke after finishing her story. Her friend gasped.

“Oh my god, that was so scary, Maria! Lucky that your dog was there to protect you!”

The girl, Maria nodded “Yeah, my stalker stopped showing himself after that. I don’t want to imagine what will happened to me if I don’t have my dog that night”

Dog. Dog! A dog! That’s it!

Alexander felt his hopes go up. Animals have a superior and stronger sense, they could tell if something is up. Alex cannot immediately tell if something’s wrong or there’s (he shudders while thinking it) someone at his house. If he has a dog, he could have a company and added protection.

“I want a dog!” He loudly blurted out, making several heads turn to look at their table. He’s cheek redden in embarrassment, he didn’t mean to get this much attention. His friends stared at him blankly, then erupted in surprise laughter when sensed his embarrassment.

****

He named his dog Tobillo.

He finds the scariest looking dog in the shelter, and decided to adopt a 150-pound purebred Rottweiler. Though Tobillo looks like it can snap people in half with his strong jaw, he can’t help but fall in love with how friendly the dog is. Peggy and Eliza can’t stop cuddling and giving the cute animal belly rubs.

Alexander and his dog are inseparable. Whenever he goes, the dog follows. He even brought his dog to his workplace, which made their establishment popular because the animal attracts people. The pet obediently sits still and watches his owner go back and forth serving the customers. Alex’s boss gives Tobillo a little medal and beef turkey as an award for being a good boy and employee. The only time that Alexander leaves Tobillo behind is when he goes to school since pets are not allowed on the campus.

With Tobillo by his side, he feels a bit better, breathes a little bit easier, he can finally sleep and relax again. He feels somewhat safe with the idea that something is protecting him when he is at his most vulnerable.

When nothing happened again in the next few days, he started to calm down.

****

“Come here, boy! Time for bedtime” Alexander opens his bedroom door to let his dog in, but Tobillo never comes. He calls out again but stops when he suddenly hears Tobillo whines and barks outside his window.

Ever since this morning, his dog is acting strange. It keeps on pacing and circling around the house. It refused to stay still or cuddled even when his owner played it’s favorite movie, the little mermaid. Earlier, while they were walking around the blocks, Tobillo slipped from his harness and ran, it ignored Alex's repeated order to slow down. Stopping in front of the vacant house near his dormitory, the canine growled threateningly, then barks. Alex ended up physically moving his dog because it refused to move, continuously growling and howling at its invincible enemy.

Alexander felt confused because his dog never did these things before. Tobillo is not aggressive, it's usually calm and behaved, never once did it disobey or ignore his orders. Alex’s mentally note to go to the vet tomorrow for check-ups to check if there’s something wrong.

“Tobillo, baby, let’s go to bed, okay? Come! That’s a good boy!” Alex gives Tobillo belly rubs in hopes of calming it down. He assured the restless animal that everything’s fine and they will go to the vet tomorrow for check-up. Tobillo seemed to slightly calm down and followed his master to his room. After they lay down, the dog placed it’s head on his chest. Alex doubts that his dog was comfortable in this position, it was literally hard due to lack of fats and he knew that every breath he took, it disturbed the dog, yet Tobillo never moves, making sure that his owner is always safe.

Alex smiled when he fingered the tag on it’s neck, feeling the cold press of metal on his finger. He remembers their first meeting, it was probably one of the best memories he had. The dog was the one who approached him and lightly bit his toe. When he heard the caretaker say that nobody wants the poor animal because it was too ugly, he decided to take it home instead.

“Night, Tobi” He strokes his fur, the dog licks him in response.

****

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Alexander was running.

The forest is scary at night. The silence is deafening. Dark big trees loom threateningly in its place, its branches look sharp in the dark- pointy enough that it can kill people if they’re not careful enough. There’s no sign of life to be found anywhere. It was so dark Alexander was barely able to see where he was going. Yet, he continued to run.

There were only sounds of rustling bushes and the howls of the wind. He didn't know what laid in the dark forest, he didn’t even know what he was running away from. All he knows that he needs to escape, flee somewhere, far away from this horrifying place.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

He heard footsteps rapidly approaching him.

He runs faster, never daring to look back.

A branch came to life and moved into his stepping path making Alexander tripped face down in the dirty ground. He can hear the eerie laughter of the trees and the creatures in the darkness living in the haunted forest, mocking him.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

The monster finally caught up to him. He doesn’t even have a chance to pick himself up when it pinned him down with its strong bloody paws. The beast looked like a hybrid between a wolf, snake and a lion. It was tall- towering half of the creatures in the forest, eyes brown as the dried blood spilled on its wake, a lion’s mane frames its face, but its face mirrors that of a snake. Its paws were so huge it can pinned a person down or slice people in half.

Alexander struggled and fought and begged for his life. The beast laughed at his futile attempts. Opening its wide jaws, the monster licked its prey. Alex can feel its hot breath against his skin. The smell of it’s slimy tongue licking him on his chest, up to his neck, chin, face, then throat. Finally, the monster seems satisfied by the taste of its meal, opening its huge bloody mouth, the moonlight reflects on its razor sharp teeth, he can see his scared reflection on it’s merciless eyes as the monster brings down its claw to finally tear him apart--

Dripdripdripdripdripdripdrip

Alexander wakes up, breathless and gasping for air. Hands tightly gripping the sheets to ground himself. He can feel his heart was rapidly beating, the sticky feeling of sweat in his body, and the lingering fear caused by his nightmare. Feeling uneasy, his hands reach out to the left side of his bed to pat the soft fur of his companion to comfort himself, but to his surprise, Tobillo is not there nor anywhere in his room. He checked the time, the clock blares out 3:45 AM in bold red numbers.

Alexander hops out of the bed to locate his dog, but stops when he heard a distant dripping sound. Thinking that he left the kitchen tap open, Alex groaned. He sincerely hoped that his water bill doesn’t skyrotype this month. After he checks the kitchen faucets and finds it dry, Alex heads in the bathroom, calling out for Tobillo on the way.

When Alex flips on the light, the scene that greets him is horrific: Tobillo is hanging from the shower nozzle with its throat cut, the blood dripping onto the ceramic of the tub. On the bathroom wall, behind the corpse of his beloved pet, someone has written in his dog’s blood:

**‘Humans can lick too’**

A harsh realization made his blood run cold.

_That tongue was not a dream.. He was on top of me.. I was helpless.... I didn’t even fight...Tobillo.. He killed Tobillo._

_Tobillo!_

He backs into the wall and collapses, sobbing for the loss of his best friend and terrified by the unimaginable crime.

Alexander screams.

****

On his bed, the phone lights out after receiving a new message from an unknown number:

_‘You taste so good, Alexander’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by my favorite horror story of all time. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think!


	3. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Flowers for Mr. Hamilton?” A delivery guy appeared outside his classroom one Tuesday afternoon in his psychology class. His classmates’ interests were piqued by the sudden interruption. The aforementioned man was busy taking notes that he didn’t notice the delivery guy mentioning his name again until his proof, Mrs. Adams called his name, pointed to the door, signaling him to go outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry for the late update. I'm too busy with school works and AP class that I never really have a change to write this story. But because you are special, yes YOU! THE ONE READING THIS! YOU ARE SPECIAL AND YOUR CONTINIOUS SUPPORT AND PATIENCE INSPIRED ME TO WRITE! I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND A GIFT TO HUMANITY! I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU! 
> 
> Anyway, this story is originally just 5 or 10 chapters long that should be finished AFTER the Halloween but that's not enough to showcase all of the drama, horror and developing relationship between the characters. Okay, here's what you're waiting for! I present you....
> 
> A NEW CHAPTER! 
> 
> ENJOY!!

Alexander wakes up groaning when the incessant beeping noises irritated his sensitive ears making it throb in pain. He felt horrible and confused, there’s a piercing shock-like pain in the back of his head that runs down his neck, his mouth tastes bitter and dry like a Sahara desert and it hurts every time he swallows. He doesn’t have any idea on where the hell is he.

He’s waking up!” He heard a familiar voice yelled, followed by thumping of feet's approaching him while rapidly firing questions as he tried and failed to get his bearings.

“Alex, mon amie, are you okay?”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Do you know who did this?”

“Why didn’t you tell us!”

“How long has this been going on?!”

They surrounded him, tight and compressing and he should feel glad but he felt suffocated. Too overwhelmed by everything, which sounds stupid, he feels stupid because his once brilliant mind is now a huge jumble of mess and he doesn’t remember what transferred 24-hours ago that results in him waking up in this unfamiliar white fucking room. _Hospital_ he realized by the faint scent of sterile.

“Everyone! Let’s all calm the fuck down and give him some space.” Hercules thankfully seemed to pick up on his discomfort. He breathes a little easier when the others grudgingly leave his side but remain close.

“What happened?” Alexander opened his eyes, then immediately closed it again, wincing when the bright LCD light assaulted his eyes causing black spots to appear on his vision.

“They heard you screaming,” Eliza answered softly, concern reflected in her eyes “They contacted the RA to check up on you and he called the cops when he saw you passed out.” She wants to say more, he knew by the way she was biting her lip, physically preventing herself from asking questions that Alexander himself doesn’t know how to answer.

The memories flashed in his head like a movie. He remembers the car, the cold hazel piercing eyes, the messages, the call, the rough voice of the man, his trashed room, the written sentence on the word document messaged, and the 150-pound-rottweiler scary but friendly dog that he named--

Tobillo. _Oh god_. He remembered Tobillo, hanging from the shower nuzzle, blood dripping on the ceramic floor and the bloody messages and the weird monster in his dream that he now realized that it's his subconscious' desperate attempt to warn him of the current danger while he was passed out. He knows that the fucking _tongue_ that licks him is _real_ and not something that his mind came up with. That realization sent a jolt of terror on his spine.

“Tobillo! Fuck! My dog! Where is he?!” He demands, grabbing the friend closest to him. Even if he knows the real answer, he desperately hopes that everything is just a dream. God, he begs and prays that all of it is just a dream. A nightmare. He’ll go home after this and see his canine friend again, wringing its tail in excitement. He’ll attend class while stressing and complaining about the many home works and projects. After class ends, he’ll work his shift and walk around under the starry night and party on the weekends like a normal college student. Maybe he was involved in an accident forcing him into a coma and everything was just a dream! There’s no stalkers, cars and any of this bullshit!

John was unprepared when Alex suddenly tugged his arm hard, causing him to nearly toppled on top of his friend, fortunately he managed to catch himself on time. He exchanged a glance with others, having a silent conversation with their eyes. John remained silent, reluctant to say anything but when Alexander tugged his arm again with a desperate please tell me. He took a deep breath and delivered the devastating news:

“Alex, I’m so sorry. Tobillo.. He’s gone.” it was painful for John to see his friend’s hopeful expression turn into shock, denial, and bitter acceptance. It was even more painful for John to see his tears running down his face as he let out a choke sob akin to a wounded animal.

Alexander is the strongest one in their friend group. He’s very tough, scrappy, and hungry. He’s opinionated, determined, and argumentative. He’s the one who gets into fights a lot whether it’s through fists or words. He never gives up and always finds a way out in every difficult situation. But right now, here he is sitting on the bed, weak, pathetic and helpless, crying his eyes out from fear and loss like a naïve little child. Clueless on what to do next and scared of what will happen next. For the first time in his life, he believed that he was not as smart as he thinks he is. Maybe they’re right to assumed that he was just a dumb immigrant bastard from Caribbean with impossible ambition but no future. He couldn’t even think of a way to protect himself resulting in the death of his pet. Everything that happened was his fault. _Stupid, stupid Alex._

Alexander feels a gentle stroke on his hair, comforting him. He smelled Peggy’s perfume before he felt her warm hugs that reminded him of his mother. He felt Eliza's soft finger wiping his tears away. He saw Hercules holding a glass of water for him to drink. He felt Lafayette murmured gentle assurance in his ears. John’s determined promise of _everything will be okay, Alex. We’ll find the motherfucker and make him pay._ Angelica orders his favorite foods, flashing him a smile that makes him warm and fuzzy inside. Alexander felt like shit and probably smells like one and there’s a snot trickling down his nose but he smiles gratefully because they’re here and he knows that everything will be fine and he’s safe and he’s loved. He felt dumb for trying to keep his friends out of the loop when they’ll always there to help him.

****

A week after Alexander was discharged from the hospital, everything seems back to normal but different at the same time. He completely changed and double-checked everything-- his routine, his dorm and even his food. He was alert and tense all the time, surveying every place and suspecting every person that he saw. He attended his classes, but he was not as focused and determined as before, he still worked the night shift but never walked around the neighborhood anymore. His friends who were now alerted by his dangerous stalker situation become protective and cautious, reluctant to let him go all by himself somewhere without a phone, weapon or someone with him.

Unlike last time, when nothing happened again in the next following days, he didn’t stupidly lower his guard.

****

“Flowers for Mr. Hamilton?” A delivery guy appeared outside his classroom one Tuesday afternoon in his psychology class. His classmates’ interests were piqued by the sudden interruption. The aforementioned man was busy taking notes that he didn’t notice the delivery guy mentioning his name again until his proof, Mrs. Adams called his name, pointed to the door, signaling him to go outside.

Alexander snapped his head, confused and bewildered.

“Uhmm.. Hamilton? As in Alexander Hamilton?” He asked. He doesn’t want to assume other things. The last thing he wants to do is take the flowers that were not meant to be his. That would be embarrassing as hell! His friends will never let him live it down.

“Who elseee?” Mrs. Adams sarcastically replied, drawling the vowel ‘e’ to show how much of an idiot she thought Alex was “Get out there and stop interrupting my class!”

The students watched him sheepishly walk out the classroom like a hawk, curious and hungry for a new topic to gossip about. - _Oh my god, does he have a boyfriend? Oh he’s so lucky. Wait, I thought him and John were in a relationship? Who gave him the flowers? I bet it’s John. I thought Hamilton was courting that Eliza girl?_ -

“Class, stop focusing on your classmate, eyes on me!” She yelled “Where was I? Oh yes! Psychological manipulation is when mind games are used to undermine, confuse and make the targeted person dependent on their abuser--”

“Damn, Alex, Who did you fuck?” Lee joked causing the room to burst out in laughter, no matter how many times the teacher told them to shut up. However, Alexander didn’t share their jests nor enthusiasm, he didn’t even react. He just stood still outside of the classroom, staring at the gold trim elegant card embedded in one of the roses. Suddenly, he let out a terrified scream and then threw the bouquet to the floor. His classmates were shocked at his outburst, they watched in silence as Alexander runs, leaving the flowers and his things behind without looking back even through Mrs. Adams threatened detention.

****

Alexander runs not looking back nor taking a moment to catch his breath. He doesn’t know where to go, nevertheless, he continued running forward. Desperate to get away from this place, away from him. His vision blurs by the tears running down his face. His chest felt tight and constricting and it was getting harder to breathe every second. Finally, his body can’t take it anymore and he collapses in the deserted hallway near the auditorium. He breathes heavily, but it was harder to inhale much air when crying and hyperventilating and _oh, god he’s gonna die here._ He’s gonna pass out and nobody is around to see him, to save him and the thought makes him panic even more and--

“--eathe. That’s it.. You’re doing great.. Okay, one more time. Breathe.. Nice and slow” Something was held over his mouth and nose. There was someone gently stroking his hair, comforting him. Snapping him out of his drowning thoughts.

Alexander follows the direction, desperate for more air. The paper bag helps him balance the oxygen flow in his body which results in him calming down.

“Hamil--.. Alexander?” The man asked. He looks so familiar but Alexander’s brain is still fuzzy from hyperventilating that he has a harder time remembering where and how he knew the man. “Hey, you good now, darlin’?”

Then it clicks.

“Madison?” He croaked. Hoping he's wrong. _James goddamn Madison_ nodded and Alex wanted the floor to shallow him. Fucking _great_! First, his teacher decided to have a surprise test on a material that he didn’t have a chance to review, then his fucking stalker decided to show up to make his life living hell again, lastly, he have a panic attack and the last person he wanted to see was the one helping him in his most weakest moment. God, do you really hate him this much?

Alex turns away, covering his face with one hand to desperately hide his ugly pathetic tears and to prevent his pride from lowering any further than this. But of course, his rival won’t allow it. James grabbed his shoulder so he could face him. Alex expected him to laugh or insult him but he’s surprised when his supposed rival lowered his hand covering his face and gently wiped his tears with his thumb.

“Hey, none of that now.” He softly said. Alexander hiccups, though, it feels embarrassing, he likes the feeling of being comforted. It makes him feel important and less alone.

“What happened?” James asked “I know we’re not exactly friends, but I promise you that none of this will reach anyone and I won’t leave until you feel better.”

Alexander really tries to get a hold of himself. But, he can’t stop the sudden flow of tears and the pitiful little hiccups that he emitted. He hugs James, surprising the sickly man, then his words flow like a waterfall, he proceeds to tell him everything. He tells him about the car, his trashed room, the messages, the call, and his dog. He tells him about how scared and confused he was, how he begs and prays that everything is just a dream, and how terrified he was when he received the flowers along with that card. He told him his fear, his worry and his sadness. He told him that all of this is his fault because he’s so goddamn stupid and arrogant and he thinks that he can handle it alone.

James didn’t say anything. He just listens and hums, but the way he strokes his back and hair brings, his aloof way of showing comfort actually makes him feel good and safe. Alex holds him tighter, never minds the fact that they’re enemies and there’s a chance that Madison will probably use his vulnerability the next time they go toe-to-toe.

Strangely enough, there’s a part of him that trusts James.

****

Besides the bouquet that lies crumbled in the floor, an elegant black card reveals a sinister messages written in an equally elegant cursive font:

**_‘You think an ugly mutt can keep you away from me? How adorable’_ **

Mrs. Adams curiously picked up the card and turned it around, the backside showed her a picture of one of her students sleeping and vulnerable. It looks innocuous enough, until she tilts the card to get a better look and it changes to a very graphic photo of a dog with a knife sticking out of its neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know what the inside of the Columbia university look liked so I just made some shit up. 
> 
> Oh, for my beloved readers! I have a game for you (with a prize of course!) if you managed to pick up all the Easter eggs and five symbolisms in this chapter, privately messaged me on my tumblr and I'll give you a sneak peak of the next chapter! Have fun hunting!

**Author's Note:**

> Come and scream at me in tumblr @Agailous


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